Deep breath
Sunshine called yesterday while my husband was sleeping so I talked to her for a while. She is sounding really excited about the summer, especially about soccer camp. I suppose I’d better jump on getting her registered! That and swimming, and possibly gymnastics. Should keep her (and me) busy for most of the time she is here.
My husband called her back after he woke up. Her mother hadn’t called him back (surprise) about flights so he asked to talked to her. Apparently she was sitting in front of her mother because she was not a bitch at all which is really weird. My husband got a little confused and actually thought she had been nice, but no, she was just not being a bitch.
He asked her why she hadn’t called him back since he had left her four messages. She said her phone was off.
Right.
I don’t know if you all have noticed, but you can tell the status of the phone by the number of rings. If her phone was off, it wouldn’t ring at all, or just once, and go straight to voicemail. It did not. It rang just fine.
If it was actually turned off by the cell phone company (which happens all the time) then we would get a recorded message saying that the number wasn’t available or something along those lines. My husband used to that and would have just called her father or Sunshine’s phone (though we hate doing that) to talk to her about the flights.
Pathological liars piss me off. Why not just say that you didn’t feel like calling back? Or was in a pissy mood? Or like to annoy him because you have nothing better to do in life? I hate it when people don’t just say how it is!
Does she really think we believe her when she lies about this crap? I mean, seriously. First, it is a stupid thing to lie about. Second, there is obvious proof that she is lying. Or is that the joy in it? Insisting on a lie despite all evidence to the contrary?
It is like this site about how to identify a pathological liar, which I believe I have posted before (but since I deleted all that, I suppose I should post it again). I just found another, shorter definition of both pathological liars and compulsive liars. I’m not sure which Sunshine’s mother is…maybe both.
Pathological Liar
A pathological liar is usually defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others. Pathological lying is often viewed as coping mechanism developed in early childhood and it is often associated with some other type of mental health disorder. A pathological liar is often goal-oriented (i.e., lying is focused - it is done to get one’s way). Pathological liars have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. A pathological liar often comes across as being manipulative, cunning and self-centered.
Compulsive Liar
A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (see, Pathological Liar), rather they simply lie out of habit - an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship.
I am leaning towards compulsive liar, based on these definitions. She lies for no reason. She lies about whether she got the mail. Whether she went to the store. What time she got up. That her phone was off. All silly things that there really isn’t any point to lying about. She only makes stuff up when confronted about the lie that she told, then she will insist that whatever she said was exactly what happened and never, ever admits otherwise despite inordinate amounts of evidence to the contrary.
Tags: biomom, liars, life, pathological liars, stepmom, sunshine, visitation
